Answering Machine Messages
by Miyu Mira
Summary: This is about the most random story I've ever written. What happens when a person gets ahold of the Cullen's answering machine? I kinda wrote it from a girls point of view in the first chapter. It might stay as a oneshot so stay tuned. And it's not great
1. Edward, Bella

**I was bored and thought of this random idea with my friend (Mishanti) so... yeah it'll be short though. Oh and it's in a girls POV but it may vary if I add more chapters.**

**I do not own any of the characters or and part of Twilight or New Moon. Stephenie Meyer the mighty author of Twilight and New Moon owns Edward…**

**What happens if you get the phone number to the Cullen's house???**

_Okay you receive a random note with the address and phone number of the Cullen's… _

Address: The big white house in the forest in Forks, Washington

Phone Number: (xxx)-xxx-xxxx (make up a random number)

_Then you dial in the number (xxx)-xxx-xxxx into your phone you end up with this message: _

Hello this is the Cullen's residence.

If you are looking for Carlisle press 1

If you are looking for Esme press 2

If you are looking for Alice press 3

If you are looking for Edward press 4

If you are looking for Emmett press 5

If you are looking for Rosalie press 6

If you are looking for Jasper press 7

If you are looking for a date with any of us then we would like to inform you that we are all taken. If that's all please press the number of the person that you are looking for and leave a message. Have a nice day!

_You press # 4 for Edward. You get this message._

Hello this is Edward. Please leave a message after the tone. Thank you. If you would like to talk to Bella press 1. OR IF YOU ARE ANOTHER GIRL DAZZLED BY EDWARD I AM GOING OUT WITH HIM!! (that was Bella)

_You leave a polite message for Edward (It was polite after the screaming of I LOVE YOU EDWARD!!! And also saying in a quiet voice you know he'll hear: I know your secret…) Then you hang up and re-dial and press 1 to get to Bella. You get this message._

Hello this is Bella! If you are Charlie then I am fine!!! Edward is not going to hurt me… If you are Edward… well you probably wouldn't call me I'm practically always with you… And if you are another of Edward's fan girls calling to tell me that you'll destroy me and get Edward for yourself please just leave a message and I'll try to return your call as soon as possible to tell you that I love Edward and he will never leave me. So… please leave me a message after the tone! Thank you!!!!

**I know this isn't what they probably have on their phones but this is for fun! And if anyone likes it at all and if I get any good reviews I might do the other Cullen's messages too. If I do continue though it will be only about 3 chapters and yeah! But if you don't like it at all please don't leave a nasty flame…Constructive criticism okay but no nasty flame!! I would really appreciate that… Thank You!!!**


	2. Rosalie, Emmett,Alice, Jasper

**Thank you to all the people who reviewed!! **

**Asquared91Loveley Tears of Mine Okuracookie gtktkat flipin sweet twilight love…Lena Bergel Just me silly Darth Vyper NellieGURL topaz cloud RainxxChimes**

_

* * *

The next day you dial (xxx)xxx-xxxx again to hear the other Cullen's messages. You hear:_

Hello this is the Cullen's residence.

If you are looking for Carlisle press 1

If you are looking for Esme press 2

If you are looking for Alice press 3

If you are looking for Edward press 4

If you are looking for Emmett press 5

If you are looking for Rosalie press 6

If you are looking for Jasper press 7

If you are looking for a date with any of us then we would like to inform you that we are all taken. If that's all please press the number of the person that you are looking for and leave a message. Have a nice day!

_You press 6 only so you can hear how her message is. You hear a perfect voice saying:_

Hello this is Rosalie. (long pause) sorry… I was fixing my hair… and yeah if you want to tell Emmett to leave me so you can have me… NEVER!!!(Emmett in the back round)… Go ahead and press 1. Otherwise leave a message after the tone.

_You leave a message that you thought that was as polite as you could make it after the: you are so pretty and another thing is… (Particularly nasty message about being a jerk to Bella). You hang up and dial the number again and press 5 for Emmett. You hear this message:_

Hey! What's up?? It's Emmett!! Leave a message after the tone and I'll catch you later!!

_You then hear a long pause then you hear:_

Hey EDWARD!!! Wait up!! I want to come too!! See Ya!

_You leave a message about how you think he should join football and he seems like a really cool guy. You hang up and try again this time pressing 3 for Alice. You hear a peppy message: _

Hey this is Alice!! Go away Jasper!! Yeah so… leave a message after the tone and if you want to contact Jasper press 1. Thank you!! (In the background you hear a silence and suddenly Alice shout.) Oooh Rose wait up I wanna come shopping too!! Catch ya later!!

_You leave a message saying how Alice is one of the coolest people ever and you redial and press 7 for Jasper. You get this message. _

Hey. It's Jasper Cullen and I'm unavailable now so leave a message so I can get back to you. Okay? Thanks.

_Now you leave a message saying how cool you think Jasper is and you think that him and Alice makes a cute couple. You then hang up and decide to try again tomorrow_

**

* * *

Sorry for not posting but I didn't really know how to get Jasper's personality into it. Sorry if it's kind of boring… and short...anyways Happy a day before New Year's Eve!**


	3. Carlisle, Esme

**Chapter 2 Carlisle and Esme**

**I feel really really bad about not updating consistently so here are 2 more not very long though. And for those Chinese and Vietnamese readers (if I have any after not posting for a while) Gong Hay Fat Choy, Gong Si Fa Chai, and Chuc Mung Nam Moi.**

_

* * *

The next day you are bored again so you decide to call the Cullen's residence again you dial (xxx) xxx-xxxx and you get:_

Hello this is the Cullen's residence.

If you are looking for Carlisle press 1

If you are looking for Esme press 2

If you are looking for Alice press 3

If you are looking for Edward press 4

If you are looking for Emmett press 5

If you are looking for Rosalie press 6

If you are looking for Jasper press 7

If you are looking for a date with any of us then we would like to inform you that we are all taken. If that's all please press the number of the person that you are looking for and leave a message. Have a nice day!

_You want to hear Carlisle's message so you dial 1 and you hear:_

Hello this is Carlisle and I am unavailable at the moment so if it is my work hours at the hospital (7a.m.-9p.m.(A/N totally made up!)) please press 1 to get to my office there. Leave your name and number and I will try to return your call as soon as possible. Thank you.

_You leave a message saying on how you think he looks too young to be 30 and should go to be a model. After that you hang up and you dial (xxx) xxx-xxxx and hear the same main message so you press 2 to hear Esme's message. You hear:_

Hello this is Esme. I'm unavailable at the moment so please leave a message after the tone. _(You hear a loud squeal) _Alice no squealing. Oops now how do I stop this? Jasper help me stop the recording. _(Jasper's voice comes in)_ Here you press this….

_You leave Esme a message commenting on how young she looks and is lucky to have Edward as a son. Then you hang up and wanders off aimlessly…_

**

* * *

Okay there you have it. Not great I know but I wanted to put something up. Okay I made Carlisle professional because… that's how I see him I guess and Esme non-tech savvy cuz I didn't know what to put for her message and yah …**


	4. Emmett, Jasper, Edward Surprise!

**Next Chapter lol sorry for taking sooo long I've had no inspiration at all until now… soo Chapter 4 Emmett, Jasper, Edward… surprise! **

**Oh and I don't own any characters except for the random person buut anyone can be the random person soo never mind. **

* * *

_About six months later you were cleaning out your desk when you find a small piece of scrap paper with the number (xxx) xxx-xxxx 'Hmm.' You think isn't this the Cullen's number? It is! Maybe they'll pick up this time.' You flop onto your bed totally ditching cleaning your desk. You grab your phone and dial. _

_You hear: _Hello this is the Cullen's residence.

If you are looking for Carlisle press 1

If you are looking for Esme press 2

If you are looking for Alice press 3

If you are looking for Edward press 4

If you are looking for Emmett press 5

If you are looking for Rosalie press 6

If you are looking for Jasper press 7

If you are looking for a date with any of us then we would like to inform you that we are all taken. If that's all please press the number of the person that you are looking for and leave a message. Have a nice day!

_You decide to start with Emmett this time. You press 5 and wait. You hear: _

"Hey!" _and silence. You start rambling about how awesome you think he is when you hear, _"Gotcha, didn't I? Ahahahahaha, anyways leave a message after the beep!" **(a/n: I heard this from a friend of a friend... yeah soo technially I didn't make this up)**

_After you hear the "beep" you say, "Emmett… you suck." And hang up the phone._  
'_Humph,' You thought as you started to re-dial the number again. 'Maybe Jasper.' _

_You hear: _"Hi this is Jasper, I'm sorry I cant reach the phone right now, trust me I know exactly how you feel, please leave a message after the beep"**(a/n: Not mine at all!!! I just had to put this in it was soo cute! It was thought up by: ****XOMADCRAZZYOX**

_You sigh and leave a message along the lines of 'I'm sure you know how I feel except for the fact that a hot vampire won't pick up the phone.' Except that you didn't say that last part. You hang up and re-dial. 'Edward's turn!' you think. You get the main message and you press 4. _

_You get: _Hello, I'm not available right now but you might be able to reach me at Bella's or at my cell phone number (eee) eee-eeee.

_Instead of leaving a message you scribble down his cell phone number and dial it next. You wait and wait until: _"Hello?" _a velvet voice picked up._

_You immediately start hyperventilating _**(a/n : if you were like me…) **_and manage to get out "H-hello? Edward?" _"Yes, this is Edward. May I as who is calling?"

'_Always so polite.' you think but then immediately starts to say "OMG I LIKE TOTALLY LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE LIKE SOO HOT AND OMG AND MY NAME IS AND I LOVE YOU AND WILL YOU BITE ME?" you wait and hear a beeping sound. _

"_Uhh… Edward?" You ask into the phone. All you hear is the tone _**(a/n: I have no idea what word to use) **_'Dang it' you think. He had hung up._

* * *


End file.
